The SEC wrapped up NFL Draft weekend in Pittsburgh the same way it handles most things: by setting a record, declaring total dominance, and then quietly hoping nobody looks too hard at the details.
<The details: the conference did set an all-time record with 87 total selections, shattering its own mark of 79 from a year prior. Great! Fantastic! Roll the ticker! The problem is that for the first time since 2015 — nineteen years, for those keeping score at home — the Big Ten had more first-round picks. Ten of them, against the SEC's seven. Ohio State alone put four players in the top 11. Indiana's Fernando Mendoza, fresh off leading the Hoosiers to a national championship that still makes Georgia fans twitch involuntarily, went No. 1 overall to the Raiders. The SEC's lone top-10 pick was LSU cornerback Mansoor Delane at No. 6. One. In the top ten. For the whole conference.
Naturally, the discourse immediately split into two camps. Camp A: "Quantity over quality, SEC still reigns, 87 picks, eat it, it just means more." Camp B: "The Big Ten won three straight national championships and now they're winning the draft, so maybe retire the slogan." Both camps are extremely online. Both camps have been going at it since Friday. It is Wednesday and they are still going. I am tired. You are tired. Greg Sankey is definitely tired but he would never admit it.
Somewhere in the chaos, Alabama quarterback Ty Simpson got selected at No. 13 by the Rams — a move so surprising that, per reports, Rams head coach Sean McVay apparently never once spoke to Simpson during the evaluation process. Nothing says "we believe in you" like a first-round selection from a guy who doesn't know your name. Alabama fans are celebrating. Rams fans are confused. This is college football.
Also in Alabama news: Kalen DeBoer got extended through 2033 at $12.5 million per year, making him one of the five highest-paid coaches in the sport. The announcement was added late to the board of trustees meeting agenda, which is a very normal thing to do when you have full confidence in your coach. DeBoer is 20-8 overall, has been to the CFP, and also got blown out 38-3 by Indiana in the Rose Bowl this past January. Alabama fired him after that game. Wait — no, they paid him $87.5 million more. The buyout if Alabama fires him this season sits at $67.5 million, which means the only way out of Kalen DeBoer is to go through Kalen DeBoer. Nick Saban, wherever he's counting his money, is nodding solemnly.
And then there's the pure uncut chaos of Lane Kiffin recruiting Easton Royal. Royal is the No. 1 wide receiver in the 2027 class, a New Orleans kid at Brother Martin High who committed to Texas back in November. He is currently committed to Texas. He has been to Baton Rouge twice this month for unofficial visits. He told a reporter that all his friends at school are pushing him to flip. He said — and I promise I am not making this up — that what LSU has been doing in recruiting is "psycho." Kiffin is texting him motivational videos and telling him to have a good week. Royal told Rivals that Texas "feels right" and then in the same breath said he's "still trying to figure out if that's the best decision." Steve Sarkisian woke up, saw that headline, and immediately scheduled a very important phone call.
Royal's official visit schedule has him going to Ole Miss first, then LSU, then Tennessee, then Florida, then Texas last — which is either an elaborate power move by Sarkisian or a slow-motion horror film depending on which fan base you reside in. LSU is "gaining traction," per Rivals. Of course it is. It always gains traction until it doesn't. This sport exists to punish people who feel good about things.
Meanwhile, Garrett Nussmeier — once a projected first-round pick — fell to the seventh round due to medical concerns and inconsistent play. LSU fans who spent last offseason telling everyone Nussmeier was a top-five pick are invited to cope privately. The rest of us will be here, watching Kiffin text a teenager, waiting for the SEC to figure out who it is now that Indiana owns the trophy case.
