Let's start with the part of this week where college football's golden-boy quarterback had to issue a formal Instagram apology because he found a fake video of his coach punching a female reporter funny. On Monday, Arch Manning — the scion of the most famous football family in America, a man who has had a PR machine around him since the womb — was asked at his press conference if he'd seen any fan-edited clips from Texas' miraculous 24-23 comeback over Ohio State. And instead of saying 'yeah, cool stuff, love the fans,' he specifically shouted out the AI video of Steve Sarkisian slapping ESPN sideline reporter Holly Rowe. 'Have ya'll seen that one? That's a good one,' he said, laughing. The room laughed. The internet did not.
For context: Sarkisian had already gone semi-viral postgame for blowing off Rowe's interview, yelling 'Texas fight. Hook 'em!' and jogging away while Rowe gave the camera a look that could curdle milk. The AI edit depicted Sark shouting 'Hook 'em!' and then — in what some Twitter user apparently thought was comedic genius — slapping Rowe to the turf. Manning found this 'hilarious.' Manning then spent Tuesday posting an Instagram Story calling his comments 'insensitive' and issuing a formal apology to Rowe, who accepted with more grace than any of us would have. Rowe posted 'Apology accepted. We move forward with respect and kindness for one another.' Holly Rowe, diagnosed with metastatic melanoma in 2015, still covering every sideline with more class than the entire college football ecosystem deserves, somehow ended up being the adult in this situation. As per usual.
Meanwhile, approximately 400 miles east, Lane Kiffin has been doing his Lane Kiffin thing all week — stoking, poking, and generally treating his return to Oxford like a homecoming he's been planning since the day he left. This Saturday, #7 LSU walks into Vaught-Hemingway Stadium to face #8 Ole Miss, the first top-10 meeting between these two programs since 1962. Ole Miss fans have been marinading in pure hatred for months. Kiffin left Oxford for LSU after building something real in Mississippi, and the fanbase has not processed this like emotionally healthy adults — which is correct, actually, that's the correct response. The man left and immediately spent the offseason trying to add ex-NFL players to his roster in what the SEC called 'a deliberate and coordinated campaign to recruit professional athletes,' triggering a federal lawsuit and a legitimately unprecedented conference-expulsion vote. He blinked, the players stayed off the roster, the SEC backed down from the nuclear option, and now Kiffin gets to walk into Oxford with a top-10 ranking and a smirk that could be seen from space. Ole Miss linebacker Trinidad Chambliss said the atmosphere is going to be 'weird.' Brother, 'weird' doesn't begin to cover it.
And then there is Oklahoma, bless their hearts, sitting 1-1 after dropping a 17-10 decision to Michigan in Ann Arbor in Week 2 — their second season in the SEC, still vibing. The Sooners now face New Mexico this weekend before a brutal stretch that includes Georgia, Texas, and Florida. The discourse in Norman is already deeply unwell, which means it's SEC season.
