Happy Monday. The season hasn't even kicked off yet and the SEC has already embarrassed itself in front of a federal — well, state — judge, watched its own commissioner do a full 180 in 72 hours, and let Lane Kiffin pull off the most Kiffin thing Lane Kiffin has ever done. Which is saying a lot, because the man once got fired from Alabama via a gas-station parking lot.
Here's what happened, in case you were outside this weekend like a reasonable person: the SEC passed a unanimous rule — 16-0, LSU's own university leadership included — banning any program from rostering players who had previously signed NFL contracts. A bold move. A principled stand. Commissioner Greg Sankey, defending the soul of amateurism, etc. etc. By Saturday morning, a Louisiana state judge had named the SEC as a defendant in an injunction, and Sankey's office quietly confirmed the conference would comply with all applicable court orders. The entire ban, announced with great fanfare on a Tuesday, became decorative by the weekend. "Big L for Greg Sankey. And common sense," wrote one extremely normal fan on social media. Hard to argue.
The man at the center of all this is, obviously, Lane Kiffin. CBS Sports reported he encouraged former players and their agents to file a lawsuit in Baton Rouge — not in South Carolina, not in Texas, not in California, Baton Rouge — so that the players could regain eligibility and waltz directly into LSU's depth chart. Kiffin denied it on SiriusXM with the energy of a guy who absolutely did it: "These kids made these decisions on their own with attorneys." Sure. Former Cleveland Browns tight end Dae'Quan Wright and ex-Saints defensive lineman Zxavian Harris are now expected to suit up for the Tigers. Former Tiger Jack Pyburn was literally cut by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Saturday and is reportedly trying to clear waivers and get back to Baton Rouge. The preliminary injunction hearing is happening today in East Baton Rouge — so by the time you read this, we probably have a new development.
The funniest subplot: Zxavian Harris spent last December at the Sugar Bowl telling reporters he was going to "troll" Kiffin after Kiffin bailed on Ole Miss for LSU. "He was just trying to steal our shine," Harris said, with justified fury. Several months later, Harris left an NFL training camp, entered the transfer portal, and is now Kiffin's teammate. College football is a flat circle and Lane Kiffin is the one drawing it.
Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry, who apparently has nothing else going on, officially sided with LSU, calling the whole controversy "ridiculous." A sitting governor inserting himself into a tight end's eligibility dispute is the most SEC sentence ever written.
Meanwhile, up in Knoxville, Josh Heupel handed the Tennessee offense to 18-year-old true freshman Faizon Brandon, who has never taken a college snap and will face Texas, Alabama, and LSU before Halloween. Brandon went 35-1 in high school, which is great, and is about to learn that Neyland Stadium in late September is not Grimsley High School in Greensboro. Tennessee hasn't started a true freshman quarterback since 2004. Vol Twitter is either in full delusional hype mode or quietly catastrophizing, with no in-between. Relatable, honestly.
Season's not here yet and we're already at courtrooms, governors, NFL waiver wire transactions, and teenagers being thrown to wolves. This sport is deranged and I wouldn't change a thing.
